Kristy Liechty
Critical Review
4 / 19 / 1999
A Strong Character Moving Among Two Cultures
Santiago, Esmeralda. When I Was Puerto Rican. New York: Addison-Westing Publishing Company; 1993; 270 pages; $20.00 US and $25.95 Canada.
A seemingly simple autobiography, Esmeralda Santiago's When I Was Puerto Rican delves deep into her own mind and soul as a young girl growing up in Macu`n, Puerto Rico. Ms. Santiago's essays tend to dig out only the important facts of her life and are well calculated in order to bring the reader to her point -- whether that be a feeling, thought, observation about her life, or even just a funny memory or saying. Unique and thorough descriptions fall into place, like individual tiny snowflakes on the frozen ground at Christmastime; surprisingly new and sometimes obviously child-like viewpoints on simple matters also continuously crop up throughout this book of essays:
"I thought I had no nickname until [my mother] told me my name wasn't Negi but Esmeralda . . . . 'So Negi means I'm black?' . . . . 'It's a sweet name because we love you, Negrita' She hugged and kissed me . . . . It seemed too complicated, as if each one of us were really two people, one who was loved and the official one who, I assumed, was not."
On a deeper level, Ms. Santiago carries her readers back to when they themselves were growing up. With vivid memories of her childhood and of family, the author allows and seems to ask for a close look at her life. When I Was Puerto Rican poignantly and descriptively tells the stories of a Puerto Rican childhood with its many aspects and attributes, adjustments made in response to her family's big move to Brooklyn and the "Puerto Rican divorce" of her parents, as well as the many questions and thoughts about puberty and sex that often run through a young girl's head. These seem to be some of the major themes that one sees throughout this book, and combined with Ms. Santiago's unique and beautiful observations and descriptions, they form an engaging story.
"'All the way there and back . . . you should have nothing but good thoughts, because we're going to the house of God.' I'd never been to church and had never stopped to classify my thoughts into good ones and bad ones. But when she said that, I knew what she meant and also knew bad thoughts would be the only things on my mind all the way there and back. I tried to look as holy as possible, but the white mantilla tickled my neck and the sides of my face. I wished I didn’t' have to wear it, and that was a bad thought . . . . A boy went too fast and bumped into me, so I bumped him back, and that was bad, because Jesus said we should turn the other cheek, which seemed stupid, and there went another bad thought."
In addition, Ms. Santiago gives her readers a scrumptious taste for the Puerto Rican culture with her thorough descriptions of a hurricane that took away parts of her neighborhood, and the houses in which they lived. For example, she describes her home in Macu`n as a "rectangle of rippled metal sheets." Even further, Ms. Santiago is able, informally and without being judgmental towards either one, to compare her Puerto Rican way of life to her new life in New York. For instance, as a child in Puerto Rico, Ms. Santiago was taught a long list of "respect rules," rules such as never addressing people by the familiar tu` until given permission, never staring, swearing, or speaking until spoken to, and on and on. However, in New York, Esmeralda seemed to instinctively know that she has to stand up for herself. Her first chance to do this came on the day she met her new school principal. Knowing almost no English, and although she knew she was being rude to a grown-up (which would not be allowed in Puerto Rico), Esmeralda was able to convince the principal that she had done well enough in Seventh Grade in Puerto Rico to be capable of doing Eighth Grade work here in New York. In looking even more closely at this collection of essays, one could say that it is the story of the rise of one family from poverty in Puerto Rico, to at least a comfortable lifestyle in Brooklyn -- and this rise may be the effect of the stamina and determination of this one woman-child. Esmeralda Santiago, through her experiences and the many hardships that her life dealt to her, grew strong and courageous, and even came to develop a definable, "you can't keep me down forever" type of spirit -- all of which helped her to succeed.
Although When I Was Puerto Rican mentions the low points of Ms. Santiago's life, when compared with Megan Foss' Love Letters, it does seem to continuously gloss over them. While Ms. Foss uses the street language that she turned to in order to survive quite freely in her essay, Ms. Santiago continues to treat even the most horrible parts of her childhood and adolescent years lightly and with a sense of humor. For example, after being sexually harassed by one of her uncles, Ms. Santiago says she held herself back "against the pain and humiliation, but . . . didn't scream." She then quickly moves on, without telling her readers more of her feelings about such an emotionally stressful episode of her life, to how she used the money her uncle had given her to, of all things, buy herself an ice-cream sundae -- complete with all the details about its various toppings. Perhaps this style of language, which is seen throughout the book, is not too "flowery," but rather too much written off as a misunderstanding, or a non-understanding, of what is happening in her life. Unlike Ms. Foss, it appears that Ms. Santiago travels quickly over the painful parts of her life and focuses mostly on the good times. On the other hand, one aspect of Ms. Santiago's writing that was much appreciated and enjoyed was the friendly, personal tone and writing style she took on in these essays. By the end of the book, one practically feels as if her or she would recognize Ms. Santiago on the street, or that he or she would be quite comfortable talking with her about any topic of life only moments after meeting her.
Despite the fact that this collection of essays does seem to have a few flaws, it is overall wonderfully entertaining, and an informative and expressive piece of work that describes a young girl's childhood and early adolescent years as well as discussing the differing aspects of two very different cultures. Furthermore, When I Was Puerto Rican is a great model and example for all the weak spirits of this world.