May 2002 Monologues
The following monologues, written by Michael Rohd, Artistic Director of Sojourn Theatre, were performed at a Work in Progress Reading on May 13, 2002. They were read by Sojourn Theatre company members and local actor, Vickie Shurelds, at the Allen County Fairgrounds.
The content of the monologues is based upon interviews with Allen County residents.
High School
I'm young. In high school. I've lived in Lima all my life. There are things about it that I like, and things that I don't like. I'll start with the things I like because it's more positive. Or maybe I should save those for last and end on a good note. OK, what I don't like is that it's a small town. Small town people are so limited. They think they know everything and have been everywhere, but they haven't. Like, my family doesn't travel very much and it's kind of hard to realize there's a whole world outside of Lima. It kind of gives you a narrow view of everything in the world. People just don't know that they don't know. I mean, people will get labeled just because of where they go or where they grew up. You really have to watch your behavior because everyone pretty much knows everyone else. I might not know someone, but they probably know my parents and they'll tell them what I've been doing. But knowing everybody can be a good thing. I mean, when I go to the mall, I might see 9 or 10 people that I know and that's kind of cool. You have to find a way to fit in, but once you do, you're like family. And the fact that there's nothing to do isn't that bad. Some of the best stories my friends and I have come from just driving around looking for something to do. Plus my dad always says, "It's good to live in Lima because it doesn't take up too much of your time to read the Lima news." I think younger people want to get away because this is where we grew up. We haven't seen anything else. But once we're gone for a while, I think we'll want to come back. Each generation gets better. More accepting. And soon Lima's gonna be a great place to live. A great place to raise a family. Yeah, I would definitely raise my family here.
Drive
Mom
"I got stopped."
That's what he said
He was in the South End.
"What'd you get stopped for, Honey?"
He says
"The police said they couldn't see the sticker on the back of the jeep"
our nice blue jeep
Huh
husband and I been driving that jeep for a year and a half
no one has ever stopped me
or him-
sticker, huh?
So my husband and I go outside and walk about a block away from the jeep
to see if we can see the sticker on the back of it-
we can see it
"Well, what did they say to you?"
"Nothing.
just let me go."
a week later, he gets stopped again
now mind you, both these stops
are in the first three weeks
since he got his license.
My son says
"They detained me, a good twenty minutes
at the site."
now mind you, he doesn't have any extra speakers in his car.
Factory, you know, factory stereo in the car.
he's reaching for license and registration-
my son is a good boy
never been in trouble
so as he's reaching
they're shining lights in his car
they're making a big deal out of it
so he's all nervous
police say
"well, do you know the policy?"
my son says
"No. I don't know . . .what policy? What are you talking about?"
And they say
"um, about the noise."
nothing from nobody
just a silence
"in a couple of weeks, uh, you're gonna get some information in the mail about your, uh, going to
court."
I said
"Is that all they said?"
my sons says
"that's all they said."
They didn't give him a ticket, they let him go
and nothing came in the mail.
Up until now
people talk about profiling
I say-
you guys are making this stuff up
people get stopped
they just get stopped.
Now, I don't think so.
I tell my husband, I said
"I'm making a citizen complaint."
my husband is like,
"if you do that, you just gonna make things worse."
So what do you do? you know?
It's bugging the crap out of me that they're just,
that they're just stopping my son,
just to be stopping him.
and there's nothing I can do about it.
To feel like
If I complain they're really gonna be on him then-
what kind of way is that to live?
So, I don't complain
and they're still gonna be on him.
you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
That's my experience
It hurts, to know that . . .just because who he is . . .he's been harassed.
just because I choose
and my husband choose
to let him drive a decent car,
he's been harassed.
My son
He's very upset
He goes out to drive, nervous
he comes home
he's relieved . . .
he's shook up by this.
and I feel
helpless.
The Dream
My dad, he was a dairy farmer, lived on a farm. Putnam County. I didn't plan to go into farming myself. Then I got married, moved here to Allen County - and that's all my husband wanted to do- farm. That was it. He didn't grow up on a farm. Growing up, he worked for a neighborhood farmer that milked cows and had hogs. And that's what he wanted to do. That's what he wanted to do. He worked in a factory- he hated it, he hated it! I worked in a factory, too. Hated it. A few months before we got married we bought a milk route. We picked up the milk off a farm and hauled it off to the dairy. In the meantime, we bought some land over where we lived and when we could scratch and save a little, we'd buy a tractor- you know, we had this, we need this, a little piece here, a little piece there. Soon we had the steers and hogs. And he was still itchin' . . .my husband . . . "I just I just- I wanna milk cows. I wanna milk cows" He'd been holdin' out for ten years, he's got the feelers out with all the real estate agents looking for a farm. "I need a farm, Honey, I wanna milk!" Pretty soon, the right farm comes up, near Lima. And I'm thinkin' oh, my gosh! (laughs) It's a lot of money but . . .so we sell everything we had- the house, the milk route, the whole works to buy this farm up here. We start milking cows and didn't know which end was up, cuz there was just so much work to do; all the time, with milking cows and trying to farm, and we had a lot of little kids at that time and, we were just like- everyday it's the same thing, it's like- well what are we gonna get done today? You know? But--we ended up makin' it go, makin' it work. Six kids, a farm, makin' it work.
(laughs) Yeah things were . . .we were . . .our heads were starting to just get above water payin' for the farm.
And, uh, four years ago he was mowin' at the bunker silo of our farm- he was mowin' along the bunker wide with the tractor, you know, and the tractor rolled over, and he died. On our farm. And so then I just thought, well, what the heck are we gonna do now? So we had all these cows and all that work to do and . . .
my husband had always said "well if somethin' ever hap-"
half joking- And I don't like to think about somebody dying' but he'd say- "if somthin' happens you just have to sell the cows, you could always rent the farm out and, you know, whatever would work."
So my, my oldest one was 16, my daughter was 16 when he died, and the next one, the boy, he was 14, and he loved the farm, he always helped on the farm- he sprayed, he cleaned, the whole works.
"I really think we can do it" he says "I think we can do it."
He's a freshman in high school. And I thought, well, we'll sell the cows. We'll sell the cows and we'll try the farm. So, I lined up somebody to buy the cows. And with the cows gone, we got through the harvest alright.
People stoped by- farmers- farmers won't let a neighbor fall down, you know. I got a couple brothers that farm, they'd help . . .but it wasn't just them. Somebody would always come in-"well what do you need?" -- when something was wrong, someone was always there before I could even ask. Make sure we knew what we were doing (laughs), that we didn't mess somethin' up. Farmers would make sure my work was done before their own. So we kept on farming.
I just didn't know what to do, you know. It's just happened.
Its in the past. That was the dream, the farm, and that was the-and all of a sudden . . .
I thought about selling, maybe a minute . . .
But I could see him watching us, getting mad.
"you better not give up that place."
(laughs)
kids could feel him, too.
It was his dream. Our dream.
Grief
At some point, we switched from being peace officers, to being law enforcement officers . . .and we're tring to switch back. You know, when you were a peace officer, okay, and you were walking a beat . . .I've talked to these old fellers, these old timers. And they tell ya, you walk a beat, see a couple kids hangin out, and uh, joking and jerking around and everything . . .you stop and talk to them. Say, 'what are you guys doing?' 'you're not being very respectful.'
Now . . .we've gone into this deal . . .oh they're not doing anything illegal. Leave 'em alone. But that reflects on the community. . .'cause all of a sudden you got two and you got four, then you got ten and you got twelve, then you got fifteen, eighteen, twenty- twenty guys just hanging out on a corner . . .you know and it just . . .So, we try to switch back to being peace officers. "What are you doing?' I'll say . . .'why you messin' with us? We're not doin nothin wrong, we're not breaking no laws. Why you messing with us? You're hassling me, you're harassing me.'
And it don't matter if they're white or black. I'll stop and talk to 'em. 'No, I'm not harassing you. I'm coming here to talk to you. To find out why you guys are standing here. And if you want to tell me to pound sand . . .the law says you can. And that's cool . . .okay. But I'm gonna come up and talk to you. And I'm gonna find out . . .what's up. Because, while you're not doing anything illegal, you're still being disruptive . . .to the neighborhood . . .to the people who live here. And I just want to have a conversation. What's going on? How are you? Talk to me.
And I'll tell you what. The neighborhood I live-well, I work in, worked there for three years. I look different from almost everyone that lives there. So guys will say- "You're harassing me.' you know, 'you're messing with me just because I'm here, just because I'm black, just because I'm Mexican, just because I'm . . .,' you know. 'Why you messing with us? We ain't doing nothing wrong.' And you get tired . . .I mean, it can be very grating. When every person you come in contact . . . "You're harassing me."
So some police guys will just say, 'Hands off- I'm hands off. I ain't gonna bother. Why should I put up with the grief?' So, then the neighbor sees the police car drive by . . .ten guys sitting there on the corner- neighbor's saying "Why didn't he do nothing? damn police don't do nothing." you know- "They're not here to help me . . .they don't care about my neighborhood" . . .So then we just go 'round and 'round and around. . .and then we just end up chasing our tails. You know, like I told you, I came from a small town. If I was standing on that corner smoking and joking . . .police officer wouldn't drive by. Because the neighbors would come over and say 'get the hell out of here . . . and oh, by the way I'm telling your parents' . . . we gotta share responsibility. But I'm not gonna change. I hope not, anyway. I stop. I'll take the grief. Its my job, right?
Invisible
The company I work for
They have a commitment to diversity issues
We have a team, a group of us
That works with management
Employees
Lots of business have programs
To deal with these issues these days
In my experience
Race has never been too big a deal
Its here
But I make my opportunities
I feel blest to have the job I have
In times like these
Blest
Period
I noticed last year
When things got tough with the economy
And with the company
The diversity work
Well, it became less of a priority
It jumped down a couple notches
On everyone's list
I mean, first you've got to get business done, right?
Then you can talk about
How
Its getting done
So I noticed that
The thing that really got my attention, though
Happened about 6 months ago
I was pulling into the company parking lot
And just behind me
on the road
was an accident
Not a huge one, but folks were hurt
It was serious
I was the first one on the scene
I helped someone out of a car
I called for help
I went into the road and directed traffic around the wreck
The cars
In the middle of the road
I took control of the scene
I did what needed to be done
All this in a couple minutes
So, pretty quick, there's another guy
A co-worker of mine
Who comes out to help
A white co-worker
We're both directing traffic
Police start showing up
Company folks start showing up
Paramedics
Every person that comes
They go to my co-worker
Not one person asks me what happened
Even after he told them I was here first
Not one person comes to me
They all go to him
Like he's in charge
Like I'm not there
It wasn't that I wanted to be a hero
I just wanted to be
To be a part of this thing
I was a part of
Soon, someone else was directing traffic around me
And I was replaced
without a word
And my feet had taken me to the side of the scene
Where I watched
Along with all the other
The other bystanders
I was a part of the crowd
Anonymous
I went home that night
told my wife
She could tell
I was hurt
I told her I felt
Invisible
That I was surprised it happened
My wife
she wasn't surprised at all
not at all
The Good Parts
Jono: I'll tell you the difference- Agriculture is the whole industrial and organic complex. Whereas farming is the hands on planting of the seed.
Jules: Theoretically, if you're a truck driver hauling groceries to a Wal-Mart store you're involved in agriculture, but you're certainily . . .
Bobby: That's right, agriculture. You're not in production of anything.
Jono: That's the difference between agriculture and production.
Bobby: That's a good word, production.
Jules: And that includes . . .
Well it could be livestock. Or berry farming.
Jono: Livestock is production agriculture. Sure.
Jules: Yeah.
Jono: Livestock is farming.
Jules: Sure
Bobby: Yeah
Jono: Absolutely. We have people out there specializing in livestock.
Bobby: Everything from on a contract basis to a little mom and pop operation. All the little mom and pop operations of the fifties are pretty much gone.
Jules: If you're familiar with growing up in a county . . .In the fifties we had mom and pop's who had chickens and pigs and cows . . .we don't have that anymore. We have specialized operations . . .and large numbers, generally.
Bobby: Yeah, to survive it takes scale. To be able to, to survive.
Jono: There's a very small number that you would actually . . .that I would classify as nothing but full time farmers, then you got another really big group that are . . .(pause)
Bobby: Whatever name you want to give 'em- part time- have a different occupation besides the farming. They do something besides farming.
Jules: Well they have a 40 hour job. They have a real . . .a 40 hour job like most normal people, then they go home and farm, and - on their spare time instead of golf, or . . .
Bobby: And they can be anything from a bank vice president to a carpenter. I mean it runs the whole gamut.
Jules: You take . . .
Bobby: They can be doctor, lawyer, there's a lot of people that just dabble in agriculture or production agriculture . . .
Jules: They love it
Bobby: just to get away from - well there's some people who just - you know - have a really - not that agriculture or production agriculture isn't stressful, but they have a job they want to get away from.
Jono: Or forget.
Jules: Or forget. Yeah.
Bobby: Production agriculture can be non stressful if you don't care-
Jono: If you don't need the income.
Jules: The income. That's right.
Bobby: Could be a lot of fun.
Jono: If you weren't worried about dollars, all that would be left would be the good parts.
Bobby: That's right.
Jules: The good parts.
Profile
I'll go out in the morning
And there will be people
now
Who give me second glances-
People who wouldn't do it before
Because they see this collar
I now know what profiling is
I don't-
I certainly don't know it from the perspective that,
Say,
My friends in the black community know it
Because they see it all the time
Or the gay community
But I do know what it is
Because people will look at one priest
And they'll say
You know
Despite the fact that its less than one percent of our population
They'll say
This guy must be one of them . . .
Because of what the media have done
And certainly
Because of what some individuals have done
So
I've addressed this issue
In public
In my congregation
People are generally supportive
In conversation
Far more than we deserve, actually
But there will be some people
Who will use this
As an opportunity to bolster their own prejudices
People have done so
Will do so
It happens here in Lima
People look for reasons to believe the worst
If the worst belief
Was already inside them
Its not a new thought
Its just a thought that has been given some proof
Some support
What I do as a leader
I find
I find myself
. . .pulled between just doing the normal things I do
but being aware
I have to be aware
Conscious
Of things in a clear way
I have to be careful
Because there is prejudice out there
Now it could be my own paranoia
(he laughs)
but I do go out now
and I see people who would have spoken to me before
who won't now
you know
and I admit
it's a concern of mine
I'm very cautious of what I do
As a leader
I'm extremely cautious
About where I go
And what I do
My life has changed
Which means
Actually
The lives around me have changed
Their response to me
Has changed
And I feel the impact
Of them
Water
Bobby:
Water, water
Everywhere
And not a drop to drink
Ryan:
Or something like that
Bobby:
Water
Jono:
Water
Jenn:
Water.
Bobby: We are walking containers of water
Jenn: on a planet made up of mostly water
Jono: beneath a sky which drops water on us
Ryan: With beguiling irregularity
Jenn:
We weep
Water
Jono: We sweat
Water
Ryan: We bleed
Water
Bobby: And in Allen County
Jules: We argue water
Jono: This is a story we can only begin here . . .
Ryan: Give us . . .
Jenn: Some minutes
Jono: Some hours
Bobby: Some days
Jenn: Some weeks
Jono: Some months
Bobby: To say more
Ryan: But right now
Jules: Water has been an issue in Delphos for 15 years.
Ryan: 15 years
Jules: 15 years ago
there was a push,
Bobby: a big push
Jules: to build a reservoir.
This came from,
in my mind
Jono: in her mind
Jules: from a certain attitude in Delphos
a
"we can do everything for ourselves and everything should be done here"-
Ryan: - kind of attitude
Jules: a "We don't need any outside help"
Kind of attitude.
Well, it was narrowly voted down.
Bobby: to build a reservoir.
Jules: It was voted down.
Jenn: Back to the drawing board.
Jules: They had to start over
And the issue was-
How to come up with another solution.
Then, a new city council was voted in
A city council in Delphos
That in my opinion
Jono: in her opinion
Jules: in my educated view
(she laughs)
was
broad thinking.
They came up with a solution
to buy Lima city water
Jenn: water
Jono: water
Bobby: water
Ryan: from Lima.
Jules: Well, that brought out a very-
Ryan: a very-
Jules: a very vocal contingent of Delphos citizens
that basically
began to live in the city council chambers
voicing their opinion on this issue
Jono: bad idea
Jenn: bad idea
Bobby: very bad idea
Jules: their opinion was
Ryan: you cannot buy water from Lima
Jules: there was no logical thinking behind it.
You drive to Lima for groceries
Jenn: actually, lots of folks in Delphos won't drive into Lima
Jules; you drive to Lima for clothes
Jono: they don't think its safe to drive into Lima
Jules: but you will not take water from Lima?
Ryan: I actually heard someone say they were afraid guns would float out here in the water.
Bobby: Metaphorically
Jules: So, this vocal minority in the community
They managed to get a couple of people elected to the city council, in Delphos
These newly elected officials
They completely wiped out everything that had been accomplished up to that
point
in my mind
Ryan: in her mind
Jules:
The general population didn't really have a problem with water from Lima
but this minority . . .
you see, the problem is
people who don't care where the water comes from
its not a big issue to them
so they're not
loud
people who don't want the water-
well, to them
it's a very, very emotional issue
for whatever reasons
Jenn: lets not forget the fairgrounds
Jules: For some people, its about history
Jono: don't forget the fairgrounds
Jules: old grudges
Bobby: never forget the fairgrounds
Jules: Whatever the reasons, if its emotional, its loud
And loud often gets heard
I think that's how a lot of wrenches get thrown into politics
Leaders are supposed to listen to everyone
And if a very vocal minority wants to be heard
And they can make enough noise
They will be heard
The passion wins out
And the rest of us can be stopped cold
In our tracks
Ryan: So the whole thing continues in Delphos.
In Allen County.
Bobby: quality of the water, not great
Jono: quantity of the water, not enough
Jenn: quandry about the water- still here
Jules: water.
Jenn: water.
Jono: water.
Bobby: one day at a time
Ryan: one drop
at a time.
